Yes, it's a BMW - 335i xDrive. Yes, I am now officially yuppie scum.
I decided to go for a little day trip to get a feel for the car. It's a dream, by the way. 6 cylinder twin turbos. 300 hp. 0-60 mph in 5.4 sec. Terrific acceleration. Fun to blow past people on the interstate.
Also it was a beautiful day. Skies don't get this blue - not like Hawaii blue anyway - often in MN. Oooh, little fluffy clouds.
Also it was a beautiful day. Skies don't get this blue - not like Hawaii blue anyway - often in MN. Oooh, little fluffy clouds.
I decided to drive the 2 hours south of the twin cities to humble Austin, Minnesota - home of Hormel, meat packers extraordinaire, but more importantly, home to the SPAM Museum. In my 9 years here in exile in the midwest, I have disgracefully never made the pilgrimage to the holy land of pork products - until now.
Exterior shot of the humble museum. Note the bronze farmer taking his bronze pigs to the slaughter/smelting house.
Interior of the SPAM Museum - wall of 3390 cans of SPAM over the entrance - no significance to the number, it's all they could stuff in there.
Learned cool stuff about SPAM - more than 6 BILLION cans produced since the 1930s. Confirmed comforting facts that Hawaii is that state that does in fact consume the most SPAM per capita.
What I didn't know was that Guam reportedly consumes more. Good reason to keep them a protectorate.
Saw neat examples of previous packaging and advertising, including this monotone "special economy label" can from the WWII.
Wonder if there's still viable SPAM inside...
Learned about the role of SPAM in WWII, the lend-lease program, aid to the Russians, how it was ubiquitous for US service men.
There were videos from different chefs from around the world demonstrating various SPAM recipes. Sam Choy made SPAM musubi - shot at Breakfast, Lunch, and Crab.
But the most interesting thing, for me anyway, is that they showed how to decipher the code on the bottom of every can.
Of course they had the Monty Python SPAM skit on endless loop.
I bought the requisite SPAM T-shirt - plus got a free can of SPAM with T-shirt purchase. Got a SPAM tie too. They really should have SPAM musubi for sale there. I'm totally jonesing for one and I haven't figured out how to get the shoyu glaze right. I should call my Aunty....
So then I drove back north towards the twin cities through Owatonna. I figured since I was down there anyway, I should stop in Cabela's because my technologists are always talking about it - Costco for the outdoorsman.
It got off to a good start. There was an impressive bronze statue outside of 2 bucks, well, bucking.
Inside, not so fun for me. There are big tanks of fish with examples of different species from the region, but they didn't look terribly healthy and it was kind of sad. No pictures taken of the sickly fish.
The walls are lined with the stuffed heads of different species of mammalia and mounted fish - didn't take pictures of them either. They have displays with stuffed animals akin to the Museum of Natural History in NYC. I had the same reaction I had to the Natural History Museum. Sad that the kids there (and the 'rents think this is a good place to take their kids for an edjumacation while they shop for ammo) thought it was so cool. Better to see the animals alive at a zoo. Or dead on the plate. Either way.
This is the largest display, located in the middle of the store.
Off to the side of the display.
Look at the sea of haole-ness shopping for guns in the left corner. Admittedly, the gun library - yes it's called the gun library - was kind of neat. It's where they display authentic antique guns for sale - Henry repeaters, Winchesters, Colt Navy revolvers, semi-auto Thompsons, etc.
Guns and knives and bows and arrows - oh my.
I walked around a bit. Clandestinely took some pictures. Left without buying a thing.
There's a small airport not too far from Cabela's where this Thunderbirds statue lives. I stopped to take pictures of the statue.
Yet another picture I took staring directly into the sun.
And then I drove back home. I should have taken a picture of all the bug guts splattered on my previously pristine windshield.
Anyway. That was my day trip. Just wanted to share. Miss you guys/gals.
13 comments:
Pretty cool lookin' ride dude, though I don't know anything about cars. Does it transform?
The SPAM museum looks amazing. I'm not surprised that smelting is part of the spammification process. The best spam I've had? Musubi made by Pony's ex-roommate in Brooklyn. That stuff was great! Or maybe I was really drunk. Either way, really.
Cabela's looks fucking ridiculous. I'm all for killing and eating your own food, but for some reason I don't think that's what they're advertising here with the polar bears.
Hey! And it's not your birthday yet, is it? Happy birthday though, dude!!
Happy Cybernetic Formatting Day, AiBu-9!!!
Happy birthday, mang. Cabela's does indeed rock. that is a crazy ride by the way.
I agree with you on the stuffing of those animals. As a hunter myself, I've never understood it. I'm not a fan at all of slaughtering for sport. I'm not saying that every dude who stuffs a goat is slaughtering for sport, but you sure make a hard fucking case for yourself when you're killing a barely edible animal, stuffing it, and letting it stand in your living room.
Ayboo, nice choice on the car. We own the same engine, you and I.
The Spam Museum kind of looks like it's made out of cubes of Spam. Is that on purpose?
You guyth are wrong about Cabela's. You don't see it from a wanna be taxidermist's point of view. You'll never understand my kind, never.
I don't think they're quite your kind, dude.
Great post--neat slice of the Mainland. Love your photos, too. In "Bucks Bucking", the flag is at half-staff--is that because of Senator Kennedy's death? Pretty cool of them, considering.
Also love the shot of Thundercracker, Starscream, and Skywarp.
My old roommate (from New Hampshire!) just fried the SPAM with eggs, on high heat, to crisp the outside while leaving the inside soft and silky. (yuck? yum!)
I think people who are grossed out by SPAM have, at one point in their lives, eaten it without cooking it; on a camping trip, maybe. That would gross me out, too. That is exactly the wrong way to eat SPAM.
We miss you too, AI-BU9. Fugu and I were just talking about ways to trick you into moving back here. Happy birthday, Brother. Give us advance notice the next time you come back. We make party.
Uncooked spam in saimin is not unlike something good. Try it!
Answers to queries:
1. As much as I tried to haggle with the salespeople, they were obstinant in their denials of the existence of either an Autobot or Decepticon model. I would have paid dearly for that option dammit. More for the Decepticon badge.
Pop-quiz - was there a BMW transformer figure?
2. My aunty makes the best spam musubi - ever. Bonito flake furikake in the rice. Shoyu glazed, caramelized slice of fried SPAM. Tamago omelet-like egg. Kim Chee or ume. Nori. Love.
3. No it wasn't quite my birthday yet. It's today.
4. Just that one wall over the entrance of the SPAM museum was constructed of SPAM tins. The interior was otherwise composed of white plaster walls to house the various displays.
5. Yes, the flags were at half-mast all over the state to memorialize Senator Kennedy. Even at Cabela's. They seem to comply with the whole gun control issue happily. Very Minnesota Nice.
6. If my vacation request is approved, I should be back home the last week of December through the first week of January. But I will miss X-mas. I hope that's adequate advanced notice to start planning the pah-tay. Suckling pig maybe?
7. I can't remember a BMW Transformers figure. No evidence of one in the wiki-lists either, but I'd loved to be proven wrong.
Pretty sure Go-Bots had a BMW. Think he was evil, and was a pansy.
Bee-Mur
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