Fun Moments From the 2009 First Hawaiian International Auto Show

(With apologies to those of you who have heard me rant about this already.)

So the 2009 First Hawaiian International Auto Show didn't have a lot of concept cars or anything, probably because we live on an island, and/or because U.S. automakers probably figured it would be in bad taste to suggest that they had any ideas or anything. Anyway, guess what's back in style, according to the American car companies? Big giant cars! Trends are so funny!


Oh good. They're making a Hummer pickup truck so assholes can drive around the city and not haul their asshole stuff. Upshot: This truck seats fewer assholes! Not that many fewer assholes, but when you're out and about, every asshole that stays at home counts.


The 2009 Escalade from Cadillac is easily one of the biggest SUVs I've ever seen. Good news, though, it gets 21 miles to the gallon, the equivalent of a regular-sized car (with shitty mileage). How, you ask? Well, because it's a hybrid. You know how I can tell? Because there's a huge fucking plaque on the side of the thing telling you so. I swear, the thing could have gotten 22 or 23 mpg if it didn't have to haul this giant stupid visible-from-space HYBRID badge around.


Speaking of Hybrids: Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Honda Prius!


I was all set to make fun of this car, but now that I think about it, there's something just a little bit right about having a Corvette painted like a Trapper Keeper.

One kind of neat/disorienting thing about all the cars there--The tires were all very, very clean.

Hawaii has rednecks!

This story made my day.

HILO, Hawaii (AP) — A Hilo Chevrolet dealer who tried to crush his Asian auto competition found the stunt a little harder to pull off than expected.

Island Chevrolet general sales manager James Severtson arranged for a Chevrolet Suburban SUV outfitted with massive tires costing $5,000 apiece to drive over a Honda Accord.

On the first attempt Friday, the monster truck blew a hydraulic hose and leaked vital fluid while the Honda remained intact and ready for more.

After several hours, the truck was repaired and driver Ryan Kepiki tried again, this time with a Hyundai Excel sedan parked next to the Honda.

Kepiki drove over the cars' hoods, destroying the windshields to the seeming delight of the rush-hour crowd.

Severtson said the dealership had been planning the crush-fest for a while. But he said it was a happy coincidence President Bush approved a bailout for U.S. automakers as the weekend arrived.

"We'd like to send the message that the best way to support your country is to buy an American vehicle today," Severtson said.

Go to the local paper Web site for more detail and PHOTOS.