SyFy

Regarding our recent time-travel discussion and our less recent Sci-Fi discussion:

Just watched part of A Sound of Thunder, a straight-to-SyFy movie based on the Ray Bradbury short story about people who go back in time and hunt dinosaurs that are about to die anyway using ice bullets. (I don't remember if the ice bullets are in the book. They totally use ice bullets in the movie, though.)

In the movie, the hunters step on a bug or something and go back to the present, which is okay at first but then starts changing in big, visible, effectsy "time-waves". Only one thing changes at a time, and it's very confusing for people. Like, after one time-wave all the trees grew bigger. Everything else stayed the same. People screamed and screamed. In the short story, I think the hunters return to the present to find that everything had changed, all at once, and they were the only ones who were the wiser (which despite being scientifically improbable, made a good deal of goddamned sense). Here, however, the movie's "scientist" knows somehow that the organisms to evolve first will change first. So any changes they made in the past will happen in distinct ripples changing more and more until--dan dan daaaaaaaan--people themselves change! Or maybe they don't exist at all! Or won't! Or will not ever have! You have to wait about seven to ten time-waves, though, and see what happens to life forms that evolved before people, though; because that's how time works. God, whatever!

Way to stretch out a 10 page story into a feature-length movie, guys! Time-waves! Yay! Not only does time organize itself around the perceptions of human beings, but the perceptions of stupid writers! I was really trying to watch the whole thing, but it was such tremendous horseshit that I think I'll just get back to work. I have a lot of email that needs answering.

(Why is this making me so angry? It's not like there are really Wookies, but I like Chewbacca just fine. It's not Sci-Fi that makes me angry, it's this other stuff, this pseudo-sciencey crap that somehow feels more like a lie than warp drive or magic wands. Why are so many movies like this even made? Is Hollywood really that broken? Why are movies that are written by people who know what they are talking about (or have at least thought about it) the exception instead of the rule? Can the newly-christened SyFy channel not find enough infomercials to run? Anyway, my point is this--Shit like this; committee-written senseless pseudo-science fiction, I'm going to refer to from now on, not as "Sci-Fi", but as "SyFy". Congratulations, dummies; you earned it!)

EDIT: I immediately regret posting this uncharitable rant. The Science Fiction Channel has brought us a great many wonderful things, such as Battlestar Galactica, Farscape, and extremely occasional marathons of The Invaders. Still, nothing more shocking than sitting on the edge of my seat watching BSG, only to be slammed at commercial with a face-full of "Mansquito" promo. Nevertheless, poop with diamonds in it is still worth keeping.

Atomic Robo and I see eye to eye

I came across this today in Atomic Robo:

This reminded me of Ruby's post, when I tried to explain why time travel is impossible--with the same argument! But with less guns and dinosaurs. I think that's always been my problem. Anyway, maybe Brian Clevinger reads Pieces Of Things! Or maybe this just a common idea people come up with when they've got too much time on their hands and think about time too much...

Also in the news:

Conspiracy Theorist Convinces Neil Armstrong Moon Landing Was Faked

"I had been living a lie, " said a visibly emotional Armstrong, addressing reporters at his home. "It has become painfully clear to me that on July 20, 1969, the Lunar Module under the control of my crew did not in fact travel 250,000 miles over eight days, touch down on the moon, and perform various experiments, ushering in a new era for humanity. Instead, the entire thing was filmed on a soundstage, most likely in New Mexico."

And:

Jack & Max Escape from the End of Time

Colleague Mike Dawson has been totally working a lot since the release of his critically acclaimed memoir Freddie & Me. He's also got another book coming out this month: Ace-Face: The Mod with the Metal Arms. Freddie & Me was one of the better comics I've read in a while, and Ace-Face looks like great fun, also. Ted at Gecko Books will order it for you if you ask nice.

The point I meant to make is this: Mike is also writing and drawing a serial web-comic called Jack & Max Escape from the End of Time that I think a lot of us would find highly enjoyable and quite accessible to our particular sensibilities. It's a sweet mix of contradictions--both mysterious and funny; the art manages to be at once goofy and bold, and the story hops between the deadly serious and the unapologetically nerdy and infantile. And it starts HERE.