The black hole is going to swallow us alive!!!

(This is my first video post attempt. So please bear with me if it doesn't come out right!)

Round ONE: LHC VS. LHD

SCIENCE PORN!!!

Large Hadron Collider:

Large Helical Device:

The Large Hadron Collider is going online next week and it's going to kill us all

It's true! The CERN Laboratory of Denmark or something is going to switch on its Doomsday Device and annihilate the world to smithereens, despite all the warnings from the presses and the medias, and even some other science types. They will do this on Wednesday of next week, so set your death-watches. The Large Hadron Collider, which is buried a thousand feet underground because it is so dangerous, cost literally tons of money to make, even though it uses almost entirely off-the-shelf parts.

It works by firing already incredibly dangerous (and fantastically expensive) exotic particles known only as "hadrons" at each other at sub-atomic speeds. The Large Hadron Collider, or L.H.C. (as it is called by most scientists) does this by placing a hadron on one side of a tiny (50 nanometers across at its widest point) see-saw-like device, and firing another hadron at the other side. The first hadron is catapulted to the other side of the room where a third hadron is suspended from a clothesline-like magnetic field. If the two hadrons collide there is a 25% chance that the two hadrons will combine to form a super-massive black hole the size of the sun, or make supernova or something equally bad, right there in the room. If they miss, it is very difficult to reset the experiment because the hadrons are so small and very hard to find. Nevertheless, reset it they will, and try again and again until we are all dead.

Needless to say, this is a very very very very bad idea. Haven't scientists had enough of playing at God at this point? Between the twin arrogancies of nuclear bomb, stem cells, and cancer research, when do we say to ourselves, look, scientists--what do you say we grow ourselves a collective conscience and call it a day?

Even Japanese Science Physicist Michio Kaku (a well-known figure in the field of space physics) was quoted as saying that the L.H.C. might even create a fire-breathing dragon. How long must regular people like you and I be subjected to the insane whims of evil, amoral, evil scientists? When will the madness end? When the universe is destroyed? Because that, my friends, is too late.