Sunday, January 31, 2010

T 'n A on Netflix!

Hey, fella! Wanna know which Netflix movies have plenty of T&A and all-natural, 70s bush?! Yeah, thought so. Lucky for you RC 1988271 has basically done all of your fucking legwork. You'll need a Netflix account to see the fruits of his labor.


Lungclops said...

Gross, I'm 80% similar. Ugh, I gotta reprioritize...

Mr. Pony said...

Wow, yeah, he has. His reviews are quite helpful. One of my favorites was for Female Vampire:

Female Vampire
* * * * *
Whoa Nellie! Lina Romay has the FINEST breasts of all and she is nude or semi-nude for at least half of her screen time. Nobody has much to say and the plot is so thin you can read the phone book through it. This allows the film's true purpose to shine through the SHEER costumes. OK the script is pitiful and the sex is simulated and the guys are ugly and the settings are way cheesy and the English dubbing is TERRIBLE but that's not what this is about. The film is about seeing Lina and several of her BOSOM buddies show off their bodies while the Countess has sex with them to drain their life force during orgasm. What fun! Not scary, NOT for kids.

(Incidentally, RC 1988271 is 53% similar to me, by Netflix's comparison algorithm. I'm new to Netflix, however. Time will tell.)

Lungclops said...

I prefer the reviews in which RC 1988271 emphasizes his appreciation for erotica. Come, let RC 1988271 be your erotic Virgil in this review of Wide Sargasso Sea:

It's hot, hotter than it ever was or ever will be in England, and the sweat drips off your body as your arranged marriage to a deliciously sultry Creole falls apart due to jealousy and the backstabbing locals. No English maid will ever be as hot as the Jamican servant girl, and no place you will ever go will be as lush, sensuous, or transforming as your house on the grassy hill. Your upper crust upbringing could never have prepared you for the earthy, lusty Jamaican reality you are enduring, and on your return to the frigid windswept family lands that you have inherited, your young wife follows in her mother's tragic footsteps. The NC-17 rating seems overblown for the erotic story of your life but the viewer will get at least as hot as you are anyway. Your story is not to be missed, and couples will definitely want to send the kids to bed before the start of the movie.

Mr. Pony said...

Wow, 2nd person. It's like it's really happening to me, like in Man-Thing.