Monday, February 15, 2010

They're like giant action figures!

This is what I woke up to in Palolo today. The rumor is that one of the giant boars (Panic's babehz) was seen carrying off a human baby up the side of the mountain. Since, as we all know, their hide is like natures body armor, they brought out the Big Guns.



The boar and the baby are still at large, however I am confident that the baby is alive and well. He/she will emerge from the rainforest in about 17 years, becoming an international sensation as Hawaii's answer to Tarzan as well as being the first person to ever speak the complex, but beautiful, boar language.

15 comments:

Litcube said...

That's insane.

Fugu said...

Do you have a similar arsenal for hunting elk-like mooses?

Litcube said...

No, just a Weatherby .300 magnum. And I dress like a dude on a cold day, nothing more. I was actually going to comment on that. These dudes look like they're carrying both M4s and some sort of long-rifles. That's a lot of gear for a pig.

Litcube said...

This is me, Jeff, with my rifle:

http://www.gunblast.com/images/SHOT_Show_2002/Day1/Dsc00455.jpg

Mr. Pony said...

They way I hear it, this was no pig hunt, but a hunt for the most dangerous game of all: drunk man.

Fugu said...

The dude may have been ex-police, and I guess therefore significantly more dangerous.

I'm pretty sure, but not at all positive, that just before they put him in the giant tank/truck thing—wearing those zip-tie handcuffs—I saw them all shaking hands with him all around. Like, "hey, nice to meet an ex-cop, sorry about almost needing to shoot your head off".

Fugu said...

Just a Weatherby, Jeff? You don't happen to have an M4 as well?

http://www.lesjones.com/www/images/posts/Dsc03075.jpg

Galspanic said...

Jeff, I am glad to see you were able to get some braids in your beard. I know you were working on that all winter.
Everything Fugu and Pony posted here is true, well almost. The part where Pony suggests that there might be a more mundane answer for the astounding show of force on behalf of the Honolulu Police department is completely erroneous, but what can you expect from someone who lives on that side of the mountain...

There were two enormous S.W.A.T. buses, a white Roberts Overnighter tour bus with HPD labelled on the side, and one of those urban assault vehicles that has that kind of paint that is so matte that it looks like it has a texture. I think that is so the radar won't bounce off of it. Then there was about nineteen SUVs full of policemans. The scariest bit
about all of this (besides it being our pigs who caused this ruckus) was that the dudes in the SUVs looked like regular dudes in SUVs after they pulled off their ghillie suits and put on their sunglasses and packed their high powered rifles in teh trunk. I think I might have a class with one of those guys on Thursday. Snipers, dude. I didn't see a single eyepatch, handlebar moustache, or facial scar. i even saw one of the dudes packing his SUV and there was like a twenty-four pack of iced tea he bought from Costco in the trunk next to his ammo case.

Heeero said...

Geez. I'm inclined to agree with Mr. Pone. The gear is combat, not huunting. So, guy with a boonie hat looks like he's got an AR-15 platform with an aimpoint site (pointing down), can't tell if he's got a light/laser or magnifier on the front end over the barrel. It's short so I'm thinking carbine. The other two rifles, well, they look long, thick at the the muzzle if not down the barrel. I'm guessing suppressed (aka silenced) long range rifles. After consulting with the TAD man, I think we're looking at an SSD/SWAT sniper team.

Fugu said...

Evidence:

1. If you listen to the audio, you can hear something on the squawk box (do they call it that?). At one point you hear the words "ECHO", followed by "PIGGY".

2. Some dude at the end there says something about snipers.

Put those two together, along with Panic's account of ammo bought at coscto, and I'm inclined to agree that those are SWAT SNIPERS walking through our driveway. To find the piggies.

So if those weren't suppressed rifles, how loud would they be? Also, how far can those things shoot? Can they shoot through schools?

Galspanic said...

I'm super comfortable with the idea that these dudes were outside my house sitting in the forest on the side of the hill, on crumbly unstable ground, pointing high powered , sound suppressed guns in my direction as I, and my family slept this morning.
Picturing that, and the twenty-four pack of iced tea in the guy's trunk is like, awesome.

Litcube said...

Know what I think, Panic? I think that you are putting up a macho front, and deep inside, you are probably not at all comfortable with it!

Mr. Pony said...

You know what I think, Fugu? I think Hitler.

Fugu said...

Well you're doing it wrong. You can't just go farting his name out for no reason.

Mr. Pony said...

Now you're getting it!