This is a store in Ala Moana. Ala Moana is a big mall in Hawaii. The store is called Hollister Co. or something. I am guessing that based on the words written on the side of the store's façade. You know, what, though, I DO NOT CARE, because I HATE THIS STORE, because this store pumps a steady stream of cologne out of its doors, so that when you walk by, you are forced to smell the store. This is not a new technique. Other stores in the mall do it, to a lesser degree. I think it might have been pioneered by Mrs. Fields operations. The leather smell when you walked into Liberty House was fake. It was also, however, kind of subtle. This smell is not subtle. It is a high-volume particle cloud of sweet, musky stink that dumps out of these doors into a narrow passageway, and it is not subtle at all. You can practically see it.
I am all for using every possible trick to get people to come into your store, but the initial sensory response I get from this stench, Hollister people, is that someone DESPERATE just walked into the bar. Like, some idiot who thinks that since a little cologne can be attractive, then a LOT of cologne must be make me SUPER-ATTRACTIVE, and if I use the whole bottle, then maybe no one will notice that I have nothing interesting to say! DOWN THE HATCH!!
My secondary response is coughing.
3 comments:
Maybe we need to have a weekly rotating "Things that make me irrationally angry" post.
I too find this technique annoying, but not to the level that you seem to. I just find that whatever might be in there clearly isn't designed for me, or my sensitivities.
So, Mr. Pony... you're saying you don't LIKE the store?
Personally, nothing makes me feel like a cranky, flyswatter wielding, hairnetted, old Asian lady than walking past a store like that. We won't even get into the blast of sub-arctic air that pummels you as you pass by, the lackluster customer "service", and usually deafening music with the base turned up so high that you feel like you're at a taiko concert. Even Goodwill's bizarre clientele and slight odor of BO is preferable to that.
Dear Sir or Madam:
Thank you for taking the time to provide feedback to Hollister Co. We're deeply committed to customer satisfaction, and strive to make every transaction a truly special one.
Regarding your complaint, your negative reaction to the Hollister Scentscape (c) is surprising; each of our 312 locations is site-specifically scent patterned to reflect the local flora, as well as the hopes and dreams of the indigenous populations. With a few sub-variations, therefore, our Oahu locations are a mixture of pineapple flower, sweat, chicken guano, and civet. We value your input. Any recommendations you might have for altering the Oahu Scentscapes will be duly considered by the appropriate personnel.
Sincerely,
Quincy Aardflow
Vice President, Customer Relations
P.S.: Please feel free to clip this comment and redeem it for a 5% discount at any Hollister Co. location!
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