Tuesday, August 5, 2008

At the risk of sounding like an asshole...

Trends suck. I didn't realize how bad the steampunk thing was beginning to suck(ok, so I did realize) until I saw the article in Makezine for people tired of steampunk. They feature a new, hip, trend for which to rebuild your laptops and vespas. Yes, you guessed it, Cocopunk. Fuck me. Gilliganism? Are you fucking trying to bring me down? More? This isn't right at all.

It's like when our highschool outfits started appearing in a sort of cartoon form at chain stores in the mall, only it's still in that infant stage where the "smart" assholes in neighborhoods that are being put up on the block for gentrification(read art students) are nurturing it into some sort of stupid latenight mythbusters sidetrack episode that drags the whole sci-fi genre down a notch YET AGAIN.

Not only that, It fucks with the Tiki weather system thing even more, bringing cargo culture back into the mix, and making those who love Hawaiiana sad because some fucking asshole in a fez is trying to buy bamboo to laminate their Prius with. I can smell the lounge music from here, only this time, it's all covers of covers!

Please, people. Don't ruin sci-fi anymore than its namesake channel has already. I know it can take a beating. It has for decades. Don't bring Gilligan into the 'fi. Please. I had too much elective lobotimization when I watched the entire Gilligan's Island series, along with the hour long rescue episode, along with Gilligan's Planet.

Let Bob Denver rest in peace, (And yes I realize he did to the beat generation what Gedde did with Long Duk Dong, but cut the man some slack, he had to eat.) Do not trendify it, please. My ass can't take it. I know, I know. It's too late.


Mr. Pony said...

Amen, brother. This lays bare the inherent and fatal error of Steampunk--it is an affectation, a put-on; it is clockwork where the clock does no actual work: it is a lie.

You know what, though; that Coconut and Bamboo growing system seems to do what steampunk only pretends to do--using local and available materials, in this case the bamboo and coconuts and solar panels found naturally in Fiji, as a vehicle for a thoroughly modern (and therefore charmingly anachronistic) device?

I am biased, however. I wanted to BE the Professor when I was a kid. Gilligan and the Skipper's antics just made me tune out.

Mr. Pony said...

Waitaminit--Gilligan's PLANET? You've topped me yet again.

Fugu said...

I don't think you need to worry too much about COCOPUNK becoming the next steampunk. It's more that some guy at makezine tried his hand at sounding cool and failed. "COCOPUNK" just sounds too retarded to catch on, and it's just not goth enough to fill that same emotionally repressed niche that steampunk is aiming to fill.

And yeah, it's kind of a different animal. Fortuitously (and embarrassingly), I'm actually wearing a bamboo t-shirt at this very fucking moment and it's one of the most fucking comfortable shirts I've ever had. But regardless of how resource-conscious I'm trying to be I definitely do not look sexy in said t-shirt. And that's the only thing steampunk has going for it--teh sex. (I should say had. That croquet thing was painful to see).

And remember that Anya Hindmarch "I'M NOT A PLASTIC BAG," designer grocery bag that sold for $1000? (FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!) Those bamboo lap tops/bamboo designer tables/luxury bamboo dildos shipped 7000 miles from Taiwan to the Yuppy U.S.A.--that's all just greenwashing bullshit.

Mr. Pony said...

This topic makes us angry.

Mr. Pony said...

Fugu Panties?

Fugublowfish said...