Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I dun get it.


Seriously, so what do you guys think is going on in someone's head when they park like this?

Possibly noteworthy points to note:
1. This parking lot is notorious for filling up quickly in the morning. If you don't find a spot, the other lot is very far away.

2. It may be hard to tell, but the space to the right was completely unparkable because of him.

3. His car is a very shiny mercedes.

4. There were a few notes stuck to his windshield (I may or may not have written one). By the time I left, the notes were gone, but the car had not been moved.

5. The driver is male.

17 comments:

Galspanic said...

Fucking homophobes.

bekah said...

I blame teenagers or maybe there was a bike parked there on the left.

Litcube said...

When a dude parks like that in the middle of several empty parking spots, you can sorta give the dude the benefit of the doubt. Maybe some douche pocket was parked incorrectly on either side, and forced dude to park like a douche pocket himself.

But in this situation, dude has no benefit of doubt. There is no parking spot on the left. Dude parked like a douche pocket. Seriously, there should be a cultural standard as to what onlookers are allowed to do to said dude. Like, poop on his hood.

riye said...

I won't get into the kinds of tirades this kind of parking style generates at my house. As Litcube mentioned, sometimes you don't have a choice but to park that way. However, fancy $$$ car and poor parking skills are a good way to get your car keyed. Maybe that kind of behavior should be rewarded with a car wash using feminine hygiene products.

Galspanic said...

DOUCHE POCKETS.

odori said...

I love that you left notes for the driver, Fugu.

Mr. Pony said...

You blurred his license plate. You are a better man than I.

Mr. Pony said...

http://sfist.com/attachments/SFist_Brock/angry_windshield_message.jpg

Mr. Pony said...

Hey, I noticed someone parked like this at the Bishop Museum today. And yesterday, in the Dole Cannery Theatre parking structure. And last week, at the Chinese Cultural Plaza

Drivers on Kalanianiole Hwy regularly drift in and out of their lanes.

Also, a few weeks back some jackhole cut me off and I honked at him and he gave me The Finger and I gave him two The Fingers and he screeched to a halt and we got into a one-sided shouting match (one of us was screaming hysterically "WOT YOU NEVAH SEE ME!!?? YOO FAHKA!! YOOOO FAAAHKA!!!!?!" (with flecks of spit fountaining from his mouth and his bluetooth headset dangling as he waggled his head like a dreaming dog) and the other was coolly explaining something to the effect of "Hey, just because your blinker's on doesn't mean you just get to, you know, go..." (his hair looking fantastic)).

I'm wondering if the unspoken rules of Hawaii driving don't have an adverse effect on the actual quality of driving here. For those of you not living here, there's a general thought that you don't honk except in cases of extreme danger, and even then if you're really really sure and willing to bake that person a cake in apology if you turned out to be wrong. You drive as courteously as you can and let folks go ahead of you if you're not in a rush.

It's a way to express the Aloha Spirit.

Problem is, the system doesn't seem to scale up in size or forward in time. There are many more cars on the road now than when I first left here 18 years ago, and a good chunk of them are piloted by very very old people, as Hawaii's population has aged. Not to stereotype elderly drivers, but I think it's fair to say that they drive like old people. And a lot of cars are driven by entitled, stupid, hot-headed members of Generation F, like my spitting friend.

The spirit of the unspoken rules is still nice, but the application just doesn't make sense anymore. Pretty much the only rule everyone follows is "Don't honk." (That's not entirely true--I've spent kind of a long time at 4-way stop signs because someone decides to be courteous and let other people go, even though there is a built in rule governing behavior at these points that is both agreed upon (and therefore safe), and fair to all concerned.)

Point I'm making is this: Could it be that the unspoken "courteous driving" directive has decayed to the point where the general public, knowing that there will be no social punishment (honking) for bad driving on their part, decides subconsciously to drive carelessly, or more to the point, selfishly? Could this extend to parking?

I should add, also, that I am an awful driver in traffic, although I do try to pay attention to the road, when not texting, tweeting or writing comments to this blog while driving.

Sent from my iPhone

Fugu said...

I've been wondering what kind of person I'd be if I was in that situation (spit flecking, fantastic hair), and I think I would end up being a bloody person.

There was an SNL skit years ago with Phil Hartman (Ah, Phil Hartman...), where he'd been prank calling a woman who, having finally installed caller I.D., figures out his name. He thusly says something to the effect of, "well that's no good! Now I've got to kill her!"

I think my instinct these days would be to take out my phone and first take a picture of his license plate, then his face. Probably not long after that he'd have broken my phone in a thousand shiny pieces and imprinted my steering wheel into my eyeballs.

I'd have probably deserved it, as right before he dragged me out of my window to throw me back in through another window I said, "why are you so angry? Is it because no one respects you? Do you think maybe that's because there's wolves on your t-shirt and those are acid-washed jeans? Maybe you just need a hug."

I need to stop asking guys if they need a hug. Mostly because they often agree that they do, and THEN WHAT???

I've also noticed limits of the courteous driving rule. With all the narrow roads in Palolo, the drivers who most consistently refuse to wave when you pull over to let them pass are expensive car and SUV drivers, aged between 40-60, and male. I'm assuming it's some kind of entitlement thing.


I would like to by a stack of "DUCHE POCKET" stickers to slap on cars.


That GIF of the round about is more complicated than physics.

Mr. Pony said...

Here's what I learned from my experience:

1) When angry spitty man walks over with his shit all puffed out, don't roll down your window, or get out of your car. Instead, open your door a slightly and talk through that. I did this without thinking, but later realized the benefits of doing this--it's hard to get punched this way, and you can maintain a general control of the situation.

2) Being calmer than the other guy is never more useful. Rather than shouting back, ask questions. Condescending questions are probably the most fun. "Do you really think you signaled?"

3) My hair is amazing.

4) What I WISHED I had said, realized moments after driving away: "This is a waste of my time. Could you wrap it up, please?"

5) The stuff you think of to say as you're driving away is the stuff that is likely to get you killed.

Litcube said...

I've never had a dude get out of a car to try and destroy me, but it sounds like a lot of fun!

Mr. Pony said...

I felt ill all day from the unspent adrenaline. A Twitter friend suggested that if she had been sitting in the passenger seat, she would have gotten out and stolen his car. So that's another thing to do, in this situation.

Litcube said...

Should've hadouken'd.

Mr. Pony said...

There are so many ways this situation could have been cooler. Still, I'm not punched, so there's that.

Litcube said...

There was a wise man I once knew a few years back. So wise, infact, I used to lobby for this guy to be president ("Thkoob for president"). He said, and I paraphrase, "Just cuz a fella's bigger than you, don't mean you back down."

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