Thursday, January 24, 2008

Things That Made David Banner So Mad He Turned Into The Hulk


A coworker sent me an exhaustive, spectacular list of things that made David Banner so mad that he turned into the Hulk. What strikes me first is how bumbling he is. He's always dropping things on his feet, or knocking things over so that they fall on his head, or wandering into dangerous areas that are on fire. Here are some key moments:

25. Grabbing the pipe that is below freezing temperature

32. Getting his jacket caught in the printwheels at the newspaper printing room, and then inexplicably sticking his hand into the rollers

74. Trying to run away from the nasty prison work camp, only to fall through a rotted bridge, and then being bitten by a rattlesnake

99. Accidentally leaving the laser beam on in the chemical lab so that it cuts across the room and into the highly toxic chemicals so that David is enveloped in poisonous fumes

He reminds me one of those hand models in a commercial for some new inventiony product who are trying to use a completely regular product, and making a total mess of things; and hurting themselves in the process. You can see them saying, using only body language, "There's no way I will ever be able to open this damn jar! I give up! Forever! I'm going to totally murder my husband for sticking me with all the housework!"

CUT TO: David's eyes (wearing contacts)
CUE: Hulk music

3 comments:

Galspanic said...

For some reason the commercial showing the woman having trouble with the spaghetti strainer makes me angry. (and "you wouldn't like me when I'm angry!" What a pussy.) All of those "taxed housewife with obnoxious (or possibly normal kids but housewife is at end of her rope) trying to do a simple thing but failing because she doesn't have the supposedly useful product"commercials actually kind of really bother me. And hyperactive phony sounding British guys who talk down to the almost useless woman "host" infomercials. What's that about? Is it some sort of bizarro male chauvinism?
"Look! You fail at a seemingly simple household task! It must be because you're on-the-go power career woman instead of the dutiful stay at home mom you were supposed to be! Well now with this handy device you can be both! male dominated society wins again!" Oh, and don't forget the near useless elderly. can't let them walk anymore when they can ride a scooter and contribute to obesity and diabetes statistics! Or is it deeper than that? Is it preying on the American's hyper inflated(barely) subconscious guilt and self-image problem?

Actually, the memories of the Incredible Hulk television show doesn't really improve my mood either.
DAMMIT PONY!

Fugu said...

What the hell?

Fugu said...

I always figured that those kinds of commercials would be infinitely better if they just switched the sexes. Have the guy be cooking for the wife and kid when they come home and have him get all excited about the new vacuum storage bags that'll keep their food fresh longer... Hell, I'd be a kept man in a second given the chance.

And I didn't know the hulk was supposed to be funny. Being tied up and forced fed soup by a woman who doesn't speak english? Comedic gold.