Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Steampunk, Improved


Using Photoshop™, I have altered the design of this "Steampunk" laptop to create a sleeker, more efficient machine. The previous design contained a lot of exposed mechanical parts that the end user has no need to interact with. Hiding them beneath a case seemed the most reasonable way to keep them both out of harm's way, and from confusing the interface of the device.

Also, where the original uses metal and wood parts vulnerable to corrosion, the new design uses plastic, molded in a single color to create a visually unified and minimalist shape, with an elegance the original laptop is completely lacking.

I have also added an optical drive.

While this exercise is completely theoretical, I believe it solves the inherent design problems of "Steampunk" in a most satisfactory manner.

5 comments:

Fugu said...

I would like to note that your theoretical design, while slick, uses up an absurd amount of natural resources. The plastics used in your design for example, consume a tremendous amount of oil—a nonrenewable resource—and the manufacturing of the plastic also creates a significant carbon footprint that only hastens our contribution to global warming, dead polar bears, and beachfront property in fucking Utah. The toxic, nonbiodegradable nor recyclable LI batteries that I assume power your machines will also pollute the third world nations who's children make said batteries, leading to mutations, cancer, poverty, increased mortality, and ultimately reduced productivity and GNP. Once thrown away, our own backyards will be leaching the toxins from nearby dumps, the toxins will be consumed by our pets, who will then lick us in the face. And don't forget the electrical energy needed to run the laptop and charge the batteries... Coal? Nuclear? Corn?!? You are single-handedly bringing us closer to the apocalypse, my friend. Is the cost of your "more efficient machine" really worth our future? Our children's future?

Steam technology, however—as may be inferred by the name—runs on steam. That's compressed air, Pony. This energy resource is abundantly available, renewable, and has a zero carbon footprint. It is easily harvested as well once we make pumps and compressors using the skins of all the dead animals you've created in your little dystopian world. Steam technology also traditionally uses various metals and alloys for the parts; these can be melted down, recycled, and reused from all the abandoned buildings and cars you've left behind after killing off two thirds of the world's population. Steampunk simply, is the FUTURE.

And what about shear aesthetics? Sure, minimalist music is pretty fun at parties, but in my technology? No thank you! I like my technology like I like my food; from baroque to rococo. It should leave you with a sense of nostalgia and the smell of mildew and iron. Leave your sterile, band-aid smelling conformity at the door, thank you very much.

Mr. Pony said...

You can't see it here because of the angle, but my laptop runs on a geared flywheel crank that you turn once, and then continues turning effectively forever, stealing infinitesimal quantities of angular momentum from the Sun's revolution around the galactic core.

How do you heat the water to make the steam?

Galspanic said...

that is a good question. Do you heat the water using steam?

Fugu said...

Babies and unicorns.

Fugu said...

Duh.