They're like giant action figures!

This is what I woke up to in Palolo today. The rumor is that one of the giant boars (Panic's babehz) was seen carrying off a human baby up the side of the mountain. Since, as we all know, their hide is like natures body armor, they brought out the Big Guns.

The boar and the baby are still at large, however I am confident that the baby is alive and well. He/she will emerge from the rainforest in about 17 years, becoming an international sensation as Hawaii's answer to Tarzan as well as being the first person to ever speak the complex, but beautiful, boar language.