THIS IS AN ASSHOLE

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This fucking contest is ON, motherfuckers!

Time for another Shirt Logo Contest! Just use the above logo on a shirt design 6 times and you will fucking WIN!! For details and necessary materials, see Brand Ambassadors Elle's comment on this post.

Now, after the science porn....I ATTAQUE!

Enjoy. It's really fucking catchy.

Round ONE: LHC VS. LHD

SCIENCE PORN!!!

Large Hadron Collider:

Large Helical Device:

The Large Hadron Collider is going online next week and it's going to kill us all

It's true! The CERN Laboratory of Denmark or something is going to switch on its Doomsday Device and annihilate the world to smithereens, despite all the warnings from the presses and the medias, and even some other science types. They will do this on Wednesday of next week, so set your death-watches. The Large Hadron Collider, which is buried a thousand feet underground because it is so dangerous, cost literally tons of money to make, even though it uses almost entirely off-the-shelf parts.

It works by firing already incredibly dangerous (and fantastically expensive) exotic particles known only as "hadrons" at each other at sub-atomic speeds. The Large Hadron Collider, or L.H.C. (as it is called by most scientists) does this by placing a hadron on one side of a tiny (50 nanometers across at its widest point) see-saw-like device, and firing another hadron at the other side. The first hadron is catapulted to the other side of the room where a third hadron is suspended from a clothesline-like magnetic field. If the two hadrons collide there is a 25% chance that the two hadrons will combine to form a super-massive black hole the size of the sun, or make supernova or something equally bad, right there in the room. If they miss, it is very difficult to reset the experiment because the hadrons are so small and very hard to find. Nevertheless, reset it they will, and try again and again until we are all dead.

Needless to say, this is a very very very very bad idea. Haven't scientists had enough of playing at God at this point? Between the twin arrogancies of nuclear bomb, stem cells, and cancer research, when do we say to ourselves, look, scientists--what do you say we grow ourselves a collective conscience and call it a day?

Even Japanese Science Physicist Michio Kaku (a well-known figure in the field of space physics) was quoted as saying that the L.H.C. might even create a fire-breathing dragon. How long must regular people like you and I be subjected to the insane whims of evil, amoral, evil scientists? When will the madness end? When the universe is destroyed? Because that, my friends, is too late.

Binturongs

This is my favorite animal in the whole world-- the binturong. Some people call them by their more common name-- the "Asian bearcat"-- but in my opinion, those people are lame because why would you, when "binturong" is so much more fun to say?

The best thing about binturongs is that they emit a strong musk that smells like fresh cornbread or warm tortillas. Mmmmm, warm tortillas. Not to mention they have prehensile tails! That means they can use their tail to grab stuff. How cool is that?! Can you do that? Didn't think so.

Sometimes I tell people that my dog is part binturong because sometimes he smells like warm tortillas. No one ever believes me. One day, I swear to God, I am going to have my very own binturong and you can't stop me.

Soul Calibur IV Review

Sorry I had to bug out of Odori's first console experience this weekend! The odds were stacked against me--I had the beginnings of a weird sick my eldest brought home from his first week of the fall semester (are there semesters in preschool?), and I accidentally inhaled half of Galspanic's mildew farm, and the benadryl+beer-tini probably wasn't the best idea I've ever had, to top it all off. The 5-minute ride home felt like I was driving from a David Cronenberg movie into a David Lynch movie.

Anyway, I thought I'd post this review of Soul Calibur IV (the beat-em-up we were playing) by darling of the web Yatzee Croshaw, for some perspective; and yuks.

Ruminating on the month of September.